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Monday, 18 February 2008

The start of a wonderful journey.

       Here I am.I'm right where I've always strived all my life to get to.I'm at the edge of the cliff, where I've worked all my life to get to.Trials, temptations, and life's common hurts are some of the things I've went through as I climbed up the hill to the top.I looked around, searching for any sort of signs of other souls beside mine.Nothing.Only the presence of God can be felt.I'm feeling butterflies in my stomach now...feeling clueless what my next move's going to be.I closed my eyes...Getting in tuned with God, with myself, I tried recalling my past, from the time when I was just one little toddler to the time when I first stepped into adolescent life, and how I ended up to right where I am now.As I was recalling my past...one by one, trying to sort significant events according to chronology, tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn't recall most of the memorable parts of my life anymore.It's engulfed with sin...which resulted from the follies of my youth.Lack of wisdom, care and love was what that caused my past to be what it is today as I remembered it to be.I prayed to God for his grace and mercy for me.Forgiveness for my foolishness to have turned my back on Him.

       Now came the time to decide.Still with my eyes shut, I contemplated with God and with myself.Here's the short conversation I had with God:

"Oh God, I feel terrible for my past.I ruined everything!"

"William, It's okay.The price's been paid.Leave it to me."

"Lord...I don't deserve this!You worked so hard to save me....and what did I do in return!?I messed up over and over again!Just like that!How many times have I broken your heart Lord.....?"

"It doesn't matter.You asked for forgiveness and I accept that.Don't worry, just leave them to me.I'm a perfect God-you can never tire me out.I'll never give up on you."

"But...I can't forgive myself!I feel so bad for myself...*bursts into tears*"

        Suddenly a gust of wind blew around me, seeming to come from all directions.It seemed that God was putting His arms around me.The wind blew my tears off my face, my drops of tears slowly evaporated away as it's carried off by the wind.It was all too real.Suddenly:

"Don't feel sorry for yourself anymore.Remember,It was for your tears that I died in the first place.Sin causes pain to you, I understand how it feels.I bore your sins on the cross and that's how I know what you're going through now.Everything's fine...Come to me, I shall give you rest.And you will be free indeed at last."

       I opened my eyes.I surveyed my surroundings.It was exactly the same as before.Only that there's a strong blow of wind around me, still coming in all directions.All of a sudden, the wind blew stronger and it all shifted into only one direction now.God was trying to encouraging me tojump off the cliff.It's time to make my decision-Do I surrender my life wholly to God and jump off.....or do I turn back and run back down the cliff and go back to square one?Cold sweat was beginning to run down my face.I didn't know what to do still-Still afraid of surrendering my life to God and let Him have total control.I could either do that or just walk down the hill casually to retreat back to my comfort zone and go back to my old ways again.As time passed I grew even more nervous of jumping down as I have no idea what's going to happen to me if I do so.To make things worse, I hate unpredictable situations, let alone living the unpredictable Christian life.I thought over and over again.Feeling discouraged, I backed off.I turned my back on the edge and strolled casually down the hill.

       At one point, I stopped. I clenched my fist tightly and turned around.With a sudden burst of energy, I ran towards the edge of the cliff and in a matter of seconds-I was off the edge.I yelled with excitement and joy.

*Will I fall or will I float? God will always uphold me if only I make the freewill decision to let Him do so, and He will always catch me when I'm falling.The same goes for you as well!Yeah, you who's reading this right now!He's already made the first step-you just have to respond to what He's done for you now by accepting Jesus Christ and His love for you into your life!God bless!
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